I haven’t been doing any writing in my Walk series, mainly because I haven’t been walking. I fell eight weeks ago and injured my knee pretty bad, it’s been two months, and it still wakes me in the middle of the night, hurting like no one’s business. But I have been working it out, finally, after six weeks I could walk without a cane. I walked my first flight of stairs in two months on Friday. It hurt like hell, but you have to start somewhere. I walked two miles this morning, also a first in eight weeks. But the critical thing here is that I walked! Yes! It felt so good. It was a walk in the rain, which is another awesome thing, rain in December! Wow!
So, now I can do another Walk piece, and that feels good too. What doesn’t feel good is that I am in a period of serious growth here, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable, which is a good thing too. Here is another matter, you shouldn’t be in your comfort zone 24/7, it tends to make one lazy and stagnant too. At least it works that way for me. I have noticed that when I am experiencing some growth, I get antsy and dissatisfied. And I am very uncomfortable in my skin because it no longer fits. It is time for me to shed that old skin that was great in its time, but its time has passed. It is uncomfortable as it begins to split and separate, but after it gets going, the momentum takes it down; I step out of my old skin and into my new. It takes a little while to get used to my new skin as it does most everything else.
But my old skin has still not split yet, and I am uncomfortable. I don’t like being uncomfortable, so I do something about it. I begin to reteach myself to be relaxed, and this helps some, it also hastens the shedding — one of those ambiguous things that infuse the spiritual life. Relax and be calm; this hurries things along. Getting all nervous and attacking it only delays the matter, and there lies the paradox. I am relaxing as I walk along, letting all the nervousness that has been driving me nuts these past weeks fall by the wayside, and I kiss it goodbye! I can walk again, and that is the way I usually handle things is I walk and talk about it. I talk out loud to myself as I walk, and this draws a strange look or two, but as the people along my chosen path get used to seeing me, the looks dissipate, they always do. It’s just that crazy writer out for another walk.
And walk I do, blessing every part of my body from my toes to my head as I go along. This blessing has the effect of taking my mind off anything but the present moment. Then once I am centered, I set myself free. Soft jazz fills the air with its melody. I rise out of my body and look down upon myself; I give myself an I love you, and I am on my way. Today, thick dark nimbus clouds fill the air with much-appreciated moisture, and they look like dirty cotton puffs. I see myself walking through the puddles, childlike, and I smile. I go straight up a couple of thousand feet, find myself still inside the storm, and go up some more until I come out into the bright sunshine. The sun is always shining somewhere!
While up in the clouds today, I am reminded of Francisco Grande, during its heyday, I have no reason why I am, I just am. Being in the moment, I let it go and am on my way, continually moving forward, even though I frequently travel inside the lines, always ahead, with occasional glances in the rearview, kissing it fondly goodbye. I need to go back to my body to interact with another human being.
I am walking in front of a church, and I see an older man in front of me. We both say, “Hello,” at the same time, and this brings smiles from the two of us. I say, “It’s a beautiful day for a walk.” To which he replies, “If you don’t mind getting wet.” “And I do not,” I say with a smile on my face, as does he. As I wave goodbye, I say, “Have a beautiful day.” “The same to you,” he answered as he returned my wave. I nod politely to other couples making their way into the services, greeted at the once white double doors by the portly, gray-haired Pastor. Who acknowledge me with a nod of his head, which I returned. And then I was on my way. I walked in the rain until I was breathing hard and had a sweet sweat going, smiling the entire time.
I was enjoying myself immensely until my knees gave out after a couple of hard miles. Time to hit the floor for my core workout. I workout until there is nothing left in the tank, and then I had a cup of coffee to help with the soreness that was sure to follow. I crank the music! Tull is singing about Cross-Eyed Mary, segueing into Aqualung and watching the pretty panties run! Salvation ala mode and cup of tea. And then it’s time to sit down and write!
My Two Cents 