This is another piece from 95. Its from the lighter side. And this one is from a five minute timed writing.
What would happen if you came upon all of the weight, the fat, that Oprah has lost? Would the mass of gelatin-like ooze attack you? Would it attach itself to you and turn you into the Oprah from hell? Would its stench make you blow chunks and run for cover? Would you be so overcome by the sheer size the unimaginable mass that you would become catatonic and have to be removed from society; a miserable gibbering, salivating, wreck of a human being. Would it be able to communicate? Could it express sorrow at being lost? Could it express sadness at being all alone in the place where lost fat goes? Would it be neurotic from being lost then found, then lost again then found again? Would it be able to express fear it truly must feel at the prospect of never being seen again; or smug and sure in the fact that it would? Quien Sabe? Who can say for certain, except maybe Oprah herself, but I somehow don’t believe that it will be one of her topics on the show?
My Two Cents 